We laugh at danger and break all the rules.

There are two sides to every coin, day and night, ying and yang, ups and downs to everything. Here is my contemplation piece for this Friday:

The following things categorically suck:

1. People who brake IN and not BEFORE corners – I can’t watch them. They should be put up against a wall and shot.

2. People who pedal into sections like maniacs then have too much speed and have to throw on the brakes – Calm down you A.D.D. motherf@ckers and just flow it all together.

3. In fact brakes in general are evil. Obviously they are necessary but too many people throw out the anchors without fear or favor at the first sign of, well, anything. Are you mountain bikers or braking enthusiasts?

4. Trails getting dozed – So much effort… gone.

5. Hydraulic adjustable seat posts – I don’t know why I hate them so much. But I do.

6. X-treme sports commentators – Where do they find these douche bags?

7. Lycra.

8. 32mm stanchions - Fatter is better. 

9. These posers.

But these things f@cking rule:

1. Crashing and not getting hurt – There is nothing better than the feeling of completely ballsing something up, fully expecting to end up in a full body cast, only to walk away without a scratch while all your mates say “I thought you were going to die!”

2. Landing in the sweet spot – Sending something large and landing light as a feather in the sweet spot of the transition is amazing.

3. Winning – “Winning is bitchin” – Shaun Palmer

4. 2010 Redbull Rampage – Yeah, It was awesome.

5. Suspension – Watch that Kamikaze downhill video from the early 90s and then try and tell me suspension is not the greatest thing ever.

6. Riding in the dry – Clean bike goes in, clean bike comes out.

7. Riding in the mud – I likes getting dirty………… ladies.

8. The Muffin Man? – The Muffin Man!

Hmmm…. now what else….. this is a bit of slow Friday……

Ohhhhh… Zats-a-gonna-HURT!

Hooray for the f@cking sounds of runching.

Spotted this on Vital, can’t embed it but it’s worth checking out.